Mike Vogel

Not that I can’t see why the camera likes him so much. Though I readily admit I’m not a huge fan of flicks like Poseidon or The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, I’ve seen both—and not because I’m into capsized boats or the chick from Gilmore Girls.  

Because he’s hot—no, make that damn hot.  

Of course, I have to say, it is bugging me more and more that Men's Fitness is no longer requiring that actors take their shirts off for the cover. Come on... if ladies have to suffer through Maxim, the least we could do is hose these guys down with some oil for a snapshot or two.  

Moviegoers can see a ton more of Mike on screen now in Cloverfield and, up next, the horror flick Open Graves.  

I spent all day yesterday not writing about Britney Spears—ah, heaven—only to wake up this morning to find that not only have I missed another total mental breakdown complete with cops, ambulances and a fire storm of paparazzi, but that this time, she’s back in jail—at the recommendation of family, friends, that fucked up manager she’s been running around with and her therapist.  

Tatum O’Neal with less talent.  

Seriously, I hope Britney gets the help she needs this time. I gotta say, seeing video footage of Britney, in her pink wig, shopping at the Rite Aid just around the corner from my house, addressing paparazzi in a British accent, asking them to help her open her door then turning around and telling them to fuck off—that was kinda funny. Asking some strange man wandering around the parking lot to help her load her trunk? Boundaries much? Peeling out like she’s on Grand Theft Auto? Time to get this girl off the streets.  

Facts are changing every ten minutes, so here’s what we know.  

- Britney’s expected to be at the UCLA Medical Center until at least Sunday morning, where she’ll be undergoing psychiatric evaluation.  

- This time, she went willingly… though we’ve heard she went ape shit upon arriving at the hospital.  

- Her stay could be extended by as much as two weeks if doctors deem that she’s a harm to herself or others.  

 - Britney’s manager Sam Lufti claims that Lynne Spears was too busy getting a manicure to come running when Britney needed her.  

- Lynne countered, accusing Sam of being Britney’s svengali and deliberately steering her into scary situations.  

- Rosie O’Donnell felt the need to comment on all of this.  

On things for sure— Nicole Richie is thanking her lucky stars she just got one upped for Mother of the Year.  

Shockingly, not everything that happened Thursday night was Britney related. Another topic of tabloid fodder hit the town, and while the stunt was purely PR driven, it did not involve the use of prescription meds nor require an ambulance at the scene.

Paris Hilton, currently on a mad gallivant across the globe to promote her latest flick The Hottie & the Nottie, took to the town last night with co-star Christine Lakin to promote the film. Christine was dressed in her very best Roseanne Barr circa She Devil garb as the two dined at Hollywood hot spot Katsuya, then danced off the calories at S Bar.  

Paris, of course, got in no problem. But a bouncer bumped Christine right out the door, only for Paris to turn around and explain why a girl with black teeth, frizzy hair and an oversized sweater comprised of scraps from Yarn Barn was hot on her heels.  

The bouncer apologized, and Christine was allowed in to dance the night away.  

Just one night earlier, Paris was seen in a decidedly different social setting with House of Wax costar Elisha Cuthbert—the two were dancing, and making out?  

Are those L Word girls getting to Paris? According to the actress, you can tune in next season to find out—she’s been cast on the show.  

The drama surrounding Heath Ledger has yet to die down and now, just a week after the actor’s shocking death, Access Hollywood host Billy Bush is fuming over Entertainment Tonight’s original plans to air a two year old video of the actor allegedly doing coke?  

See—not all entertainment correspondents are soulless.  

Posting a statement to Access Hollywood’s Web site, Bush stuck it to ET and, in particular, Mary Hart (whom he called the June Cleaver of entertainment news) for using sweeps to exploit a troubled actor whose family had yet to put him in the ground.  

Though ET opted not to air the footage, a promo of the clip (Heath allegedly doing cocaine on the east coast feet, replaced by a shot of his feet on the west coast) was accompanied by voice over from the 50-something Hart, promising incriminating footage and a full video to air the next day.  

So what does Bush have to say about that? Trust... it's harsh!

"I am shocked that Mary Hart would read this crap. I know her and she is a very nice lady, but its clear to me she's "checked out" of that place, basically taking whatever they put in her hand and reading it with the same excitable veneer you'd expect to hear at a 50's sock hop."  

Shocked Mary Hart would read that crap? Shocked? Come on now.  

That’s like saying you’d be shocked if Vanna White turned the letters on a somewhat salacious phrase. If one of Barker’s former beauties came out in a barely there bikini? Face it—that bobble head got lucky… she has a set of gams that look nice under a desk and can read a teleprompter with conviction. Morals? They went out with her back combed helmet hair.  

I gotta say though—if Billy actually wrote that, kudos to him. Almost enough to forget who he’s related to. Read the whole catfight over at DListed.  

Speaking of catfights, here’s one that’s bound to go down. A former fiancé of comedian Mo’Nique claims she used to be a coke head and made money selling the stuff.  

Other than the obvious—that Mo’Nique would likely be a hell of a lot smaller if she were addicted to nose candy (though Nell Carter does skew that hypothesis)—that seems like kind of an outlandish claim. Doing it, maybe. But Mo’Nique seems a hell of a lot more crafty than to go down in a blaze of glory when the cops caught passing her treats to grips on the set of the FAT Girl’s Beauty Pageant.  

The best part of this whole thing. Mo’s lawyer, who issued this statement: " Marvin Dawson has no credibility - he's a nut. If she was dealing in kilos of cocaine, the DEA (drugs enforcement agency) should have her on their suspects list. See if they have anything on her. That's dumb."  

Where the hell did Mo’Nique find her legal team? Jacoby and Meyers? What kind of lawyer says, "That’s dumb." I love it.  

Here’s hoping the rumors aren’t true—and that PETA don’t come after her ass for wearing that coat.  

Another day in paradise—I need a drink. Til’ next time, remember—take some time to stop and smell the gossip.