Brett Hollands

And to that I say—your point?  

Abercrombie models become Abercrombie models for one reason—they’re hot. And Brett Hollands is no exception.  

But unlike several of the A&F models we’ve featured in weeks past, Hollands has modeled for several high end designers. Tommy Hilfiger, Guess, Nautica—me when I close my eyes real tight and take a 15 minute break from work.  

He’s got a Paul Walker meets Patrick Wilson thing going on, and for any of you who’ve taken a second to stare longingly at either of those two men, you know why I’m so damn smitten.  

But alas, we have gossip to get to and I don’t want to take attention away from the real reason you’re here.  

So gaze upon a pair of truly delicious photos before we start with thr shit talking. 

First on our list of scandal this week— High School Musical. You should have known something was coming down the pipeline. They’re legal and they have cash!  

Photos of Vanessa Hudgens allegedly intended for her unofficial honey Zac Efron surfaced on the Web this week—and she’s showing a hell of a lot more skin than is typically considered Kosher for the PG-rated Disney channel. Sporting nips at attention with her bush au-natural, Hudgens struck a sexy pose for her man while she was out of town.  

The big question is—are the photos real? Yes, Yes, YES! The publicist confirmed it, saying it was unfortunate photos taken in private had been made public. 

Lesson number one about fame, Vanessa. There is no such thing as private. 

Besides, why dwell on big titties when we can drool over shirtless pics of Zac Efron. Here’s a new pic we dug up from the folks over at TMZ.com… he’s like Mini Matt McConaughey in training.  

From a real photo to a fake photo—the latest cover of Glamour. Pardon me, but didn’t America fall in love with America because she represents America. OK, lemme try that again.  

On the right, we see a beautiful, healthy young woman that represents the majority of young girls who cant squeeze their asses into a size two. She’s got the boobs, the butt, the familiar shimmy of some excess skin when she waves while accepting an award. People can relate to her—I mean, this is a girl who built her career on starring in projects like Ugly Betty and Real Women Have Curves.  

So who the fuck is that on the cover of Glamour this month? It’s sure as hell not America Ferrera—unless she’s been TrimSpa-ing it up on the set of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 this summer. And if that is indeed the case, how the hell are they going to explain Betty Suarez suddenly being a size 2 next season? Form fitting ponchos.  

Bad move Glamour—shame, shame.  

Brad Pitt seems to think he could use a touch up or two. The proud papa of four and counting says age has taken its toll on his face and body and it’s just not that easy to look good all the time anymore.  

If I was sharing a house with Angelina and four kids, I’d look a bit worse for the wear myself, Brad.  

But I love how this is Brad’s idea of looking bad. Most 43-year-old men would kill to look half as good. Most 43-year-old men look like Val Kilmer after a bender. Smoking, drinking and buying babies seems to work for you, Brad. Keep it up!  

On the subject of hotties, Jude Law’s being an asshole again. He spent the night in jail for beating up some photog. And while, typically speaking, I’d side with the actor, in this instance, I think it’s probably just a case of Jude being Jude and pissing people off.  

But I’d still fuck him.  

Someone who has fallen off my list of people I’d fuck— Heath Ledger.  

Remember A Knights Tale? Heath had those long flowing blonde locks falling over his gorgeous tanned shoulders and he wielded his jousting stick and pounds of silver armour.  

Maybe he’s just trying to stay in character for his turn as The Joker in The Dark Knight, but lately, Heath’s looking like of of those Brit musician crack heads Kate Moss is always hanging around.  

Of course, he could also be down in the dumps about his recent split from Michelle Williams, who he knocked up just after Brokeback Mountain. At the least the two will always have a baby to remember their time together.  

On the subject of babies, it’s about fucking time— Halle Berry is finally with child after years of baby bump reports. Halle’s come a long way in the past few years. After a series of fuck beyond all cognition relationships to worthless men ( David Justice, Eric Benet, we’re talking about you). This time, she’s doing it right—she got a runway model ten years her junior to cough up some sperm and claims she has no plans to marry him.  

Here’s hoping Gabriel Aubry stays around at least long enough to offer some much needed pregnancy sex.  

And since we went there with the subject of breakups, how about a hand for Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead—the relationship that never was, or was it?  

Birkhead says absolutely not—but Rita Cosby, the former MSNBC anchor who penned the Anna Nicole Smith tell all Blonde Ambition, says that not only were the two sleeping together, but Anna Nicole watched on tape.  

Birkhead and Stern say they’re contemplating suing Cosby—of course they are. Isn’t that what Howard does best?  

Alright folks, I’m sick of talking smack for one week. Off to locate a stiff cocktail… until next time, remember to stop and smell the gossip!